


Primal Instinct

by gwenwifar



Series: ABO Destiel [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha Castiel/Omega Dean Winchester, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Destiel - Freeform, Emotional Manipulation, M/M, Neglected Castiel (Supernatural), Neglected Dean Winchester, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, PTSD, Trust Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:21:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 15,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22569298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwenwifar/pseuds/gwenwifar
Summary: When Dean's first alpha dies, the situation is dire. To save himself from a difficult situation, he gets Castiel to claim him, but things do not go according to plan.First in a series of stories exploring their evolving relationship. Mentions of childhood neglect and some sexy stuff, but neither is explicit. Adult language warning. Relationship between Castiel and Dean is not really healthy at this point, but I promise, eventually there is a happy ending.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester/Original Character(s)
Series: ABO Destiel [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1623946
Comments: 28
Kudos: 89





	1. Escaping

So we was alone. Again. 

You’d think he’d be used to it by now. But the last few years, with Alex, he’d grown soft. Still, there had been all the years before that. 

Dean closed the door behind the neighbor who’d come to tell him Alex was dead. He knew, of course. He’d felt the bond break. He’d been packing when they arrived. He wanted to be out of here before they arrived to collect the omega. He might be soft, but not soft enough to go quietly into some center to await whatever alpha they decided to pass him off to. He’d be gone before they got here. He’d lived on the road before, he could do it again.

Sure, it had been different before he presented. For one thing, he’d had dad and Sammy then, so he wasn’t alone, entirely. But dad was always running off and leaving him to watch Sammy, so it was close enough. He was alone with the responsibility. He knew, even back then the weight of making decisions and keeping safe, hustling for money when he ran out before dad returned. But he was a child. You got away with more shit when you were a child. _Unless you were a child who just presented as an omega_ , he ruefully corrected himself. 

He shook his head to kick himself out of that train of thought. Sure, it would be trickier. But he did it when he was 8. He could do it again. He checked the gym bag he’d pulled out of Alex’s closet. Clothes, check. Easily sold, untraceable valuables, check. All the cash he’d found in Alex’s room plus what was left of his allowance, check. Alarm clock, watch, important documents, check. Collar, check. Alex’s cologne, check. The keys to the Impala he’d spent the last 3 years rebuilding, check. 

He refused to consider just how much trouble he’d get into if he got caught with any of this stuff. Technically, now that his mate was dead, he was basically stealing all but his own clothes from his heirs. But then again, running away already carried the strictest of penalties. It would hardly matter what he was taking with him. He zipped up the bag, felt for the keys in his pocket, and headed for the garage.

He’d just stowed the bag in the trunk, between the box of food and water he’d stashed first, when he heard a car approach. Not a van, he could tell, so not the center come to collect him. But he couldn’t afford to be delayed, not if he was going to make a clean getaway. He took a deep breath and hoped they would just go away if he didn’t answer the front door. He waited, and he waited, but he could still hear them out there, feet scuffling along the wall line, voices talking to each other.

He hadn’t felt this trapped since the day dad and Sammy hadn’t come back from that hunt. He’d been in heat, so they’d left him behind at the motel, he was 15 then, and dad decided to take Sammy because it was an easy hunt and with Dean in heat he wouldn’t be able to take proper care of Sammy. So Dean had been left behind to deal with his heat, and when the heat was over, he was still alone. He still didn’t know what happened to them. 

The sound of keys in the front door snapped him out of his trip down memory lane. He couldn’t be caught here like this. A quick look out the garage door window showed the car was parked in the drive, so he couldn’t make a run for it with the car, and if he was caught here he might never be able to get away. He slipped into the laundry room, dumped the clothes he’d taken out of the dryer this morning back into the washer and turned it on. There went the loud noise the stupid washer had been making lately. And as expected, the footsteps headed towards the laundry room as he calmly set aside the basket and busied himself cleaning out the lint trap. 

Great. He should have known it would be Alex’s brothers. No doubt eager to start claiming their cut of the inheritance. Every time they’d been here before they had looked at things as if they were mentally tagging what they would take home today. Sometimes they’d “bantered” about who was more entitled to this or that piece. He hoped they would get busy arguing over who would get one of the unique and priceless items in the living room (items he’d determined would be too easy to trace and thus too risky to take) before they noticed how much of the smaller stuff he’d lifted. He could always argue some of the silver was off being polished or something. Some of the other stuff was harder to explain.

He meant to greet them, as casually as possible, when he saw the look they exchanged and realized what valuable possession they’d be arguing over, and it wasn’t going to help him get out of here any time soon. He was getting more trapped by the second. He supposed being claimed by whichever one of them won the argument was better than going to the omega center. He’d done worse. He’d turned tricks for a while after that heat when dad and Sammy disappeared. He’d survived. He’d survive again.

He heard a loud, firm knock at the door. He hadn’t heard a vehicle pull up; _couldn’t_ , over the blustering of the two windbags that had had been Alex’s only family. If the streak of bad luck he’d been riding all day continued, this would be the van from the center come to fetch him. Might as well get it over with.

But when he opened the door, it was to find a familiar face. He knew this guy. He worked with Alex. They’d had him over once or twice for dinner. Unmated alpha, but he was nice, friendly. New in town, if Dean remembered correctly. Bit lonely but hadn’t looked at Dean as though he was sizing him up. Or at Alex as though he was considering whether Alex would let him fuck the omega. He’d been polite, kind, respectful. What was his name?

“Hi, Dean. I heard about Alex and came to see if you needed help with anything.” 

He’d extended his hand for shaking, as if he’d forgotten he was an alpha talking to an omega. When Dean’s own hand didn’t move to meet it, he watched it drop.

Was he blushing? Embarrassed that he tried to shake an omega’s hand? 

“You might not remember me, we only met twice. I worked with Alex. Castiel.”

“I remember,” he said, more harshly than he meant to because he was in a mood. “You were very kind when you came for dinner.”

He blushed deeper. Did the guy have a crush on him? He could use this. Kind, respectful guy, lonely, new in town. Just the kind of guy who might come to an omega’s rescue. Particularly if it was an omega he might have a hopeless crush on. He made himself look smaller, scared, helpless.

“I’m so glad you’re here. I’m sorry I was rude there, I’m kinda panicking. Come in, quickly.”

He drew Castiel inside, close enough to where the two brothers were still loudly arguing that he could hear them, but far enough that they wouldn’t be overheard in return, if they kept their voices down. He watched Castiel’s expression as the two argued about who would claim him, wringing his hands, making himself look as distressed as possible. When one of the brothers suggested they should just decide rock paper scissors style, so they could claim him before the van got here, he tensed up. When he heard the other argue that as long as neither of them mated him, they could just claim him back and forth in between heats as a compromise solution, then start another argument over who would get to go first, he became outraged.

“The center isn’t any better,” Dean made his voice shake a bit. He used to be better at this, but he was badly out of practice. He tried to look suitably terrified and prepared to embark on a description of all the horrors to be found at the center when again, his luck helped out. He heard the van pull up, focused on the sound, made himself think of all the horrors he’d been about to list for Castiel, and turned his eyes on the kind alpha as the the worst possible outcomes filled them with dread. 

“That’s the van,” he said, in a whiny, tiny voice. “They’re here.”

He almost had him, he could see it. He made himself slip down to his knees with a whimper, cower at Castiel’s feet, his eyes turning from where the brothers were still yelling at each other to the door.

 _Come on, don’t I look yummy and helpless? You know you want to, Cas._ He saw the moment the thought occurred to him. Watched him struggle with indecision, turn his own eyes to the door as the steps finally reached it. It was now or never.

“Help me,” he whispered, looking up and reaching out as if to touch Castiel’s hand imploringly, then turning his eyes down and dropping his hand to curl into a ball on the floor. He wished he could make himself shiver. He’d mastered tears on demand when he was 5, but he could never get a good shaking-with-sobs kind of shiver to work.

He felt Castiel’s hand on his shoulder just before he heard the knock. He felt the fingers squeeze, lift him up just enough. And before he knew it, Castiel was opening the door.

“You’re not needed after all,” he told the betas from the center. “I have claimed the omega. He’s going home with me.”


	2. Chapter 2

Dean had picked himself off the floor and showed them the fresh bite. He’d then excused himself to retrieve the gym bag from the Impala while Cas dealt with telling the brothers he was taking the omega. Dean had no idea what Cas told them, but they were speechless when he came back through with the bag. That was certainly an improvement.

He followed Castiel out the door and into a beat up old junker of a car he couldn’t believe anyone was driving. He supposed he could fix it up a little. He already missed the Impala more than he cared to contemplate. Instead, he decided to contemplate why Cas would be driving this piece of junk. If he worked with Alex, he had to be making better money than this, didn’t he? He was probably just thrifty. Dean could work on that. He settled prettily into the passenger seat and looked adoringly at Cas. 

“Thanks for the help. You really saved my ass, there.”

Cas seemed uneasy, and Dean made himself look out the passenger window for a moment and refocus. His alpha had just died. Alex had been Castiel’s friend. And a good guy. Someone Dean would be grieving, most likely, if they’d been closer. Truth be told, Alex wasn’t around much. They’d mated, and then Alex had gone about his life much as before. Sometimes they went weeks without seeing each other at all. Dean suspected maybe he was into other alphas. It didn’t really matter. He had a safe place to live in, food and comfort, an allowance for his own use. Alex had used a cleaning service, and didn’t often come home for dinner, so he didn’t have much in the way of duties. It was why he’d scrounged up the Impala from a junk yard and started using his allowance to rebuild it. All in all, he had been quite happy with the arrangement.

He was not happy to be leaving his car behind. Sure, technically, it had been Alex’s car. But now that he himself was safe from the brothers from hell, he was very much afraid of what they would do to his Baby. Still, couldn’t be helped. Maybe they’d put it up for sale at some point - or crash it and junk - it and he would get Castiel to buy it for him.

He focused on the Impala to achieve the right expression of sadness and mourning, and then turned his attention back to Castiel and his junker. They had descended into a much older part of town. Smaller houses, cheap apartments. By the time Cas had pulled into a parking spot in one of the apartment complexes, Dean had decided that thriftiness was fine, but this would not do. He would have to play his cards right, of course. But this would definitely not stand.

He took the bag and followed Castiel to the apartment. There was only one bedroom, so he set his stuff down by the sofa. The kitchen was tiny, and the bathroom didn’t even have a tub. Dean was going to think of this as Castiel’s bachelor pad. He started making plans as he unpacked. 

Plan A: he would find an opportunity, get the Impala, and stick to the original plan to drive off into the sunset as soon as he could make a clean getaway. He didn’t know if he could make that work. Could he even find the Impala again? The brothers might have come in the same car intending to drive the Impala back with them. Even if they didn’t, how would he get there and get the car out? He had an extra set of keys made, so he could get himself into the house, the garage and the Impala. But it was the kind of neighborhood with security everywhere. It wouldn’t be that easy.

Plan B: he would get Castiel to mate him, get them moved into a better neighborhood where he could have his own bedroom and a garage to work in, like he did until this morning. Castiel was definitely into him, so he’d likely be around more, and want to be… closer. He was a nice enough guy. Dean could make it work. He’d be safe with Castiel. Besides, sex had always served him well when he had goals to achieve. He’d have Cas eating out of his hand in no time. He’d find another trashed classic in a junk yard somewhere, rebuild it, _then_ drive off into the sunset. 

He was going to need cash. Now that immediate survival wasn’t a concern, he could afford to wait a couple weeks before trying to unload some of the stuff he’d lifted from Alex’s house. He’d get cash, stash it somewhere safe, keep track of where he was in a journal so he could stay organized, make specific plans, and know when he was ready to leave. Cas was the kind of guy who would respect his privacy, so it would be safe enough.

He looked up to find Castiel standing thoughtfully by the doorway. 

“Dean, we need to talk.”

Those words never preceeded good news. Dean assumed the quiet, scared expression that had served him so well earlier and focused his attention on the alpha.

“There are a few things I want you to know,” he started.

A determined look settled into his eyes, and the rigidity of his body betrayed his mood. 

“First of all, I claimed you to get you out of that situation, but we don’t actually have to mate if you don’t want to. I – I think I – I think I’d like to, but I don’t think I’d make a very good mate. I - ”

He hesitated, then continued.

“I mean, I think I could make a very good mate, but I am not ready now. I have a lot to learn about being a mate. About being an alpha, even. If we’re going to share a home, even temporarily, you should know that. I wouldn’t make a good mate for anyone right now,” he sighed. “It’s complicated.”

Complicated? Dean nodded carefully, considering. What could this mean? He wasn’t interested in mating. Ok, maybe he wasn’t as into Dean as he’d thought. That was just fine, plan A was his favorite anyway. But if that didn’t work out he was going to need Cas to commit. If they weren’t mated, he really had no claim on Castiel’s resources. He couldn’t get an allowance and had very little leverage for even getting them moved into a better place. What could be so complicated?

He let the uncertainty show, looked expectantly at Cas. One of the most useful things he’d learned early was that if you could sit quietly in an uncomfortable silence, sooner or later the other person would start to fill it.

“I didn’t grow up around here,” he explained. “Where I come from, there are alphas and omegas, but everyone is expected to live like a beta. I don’t really know how to be an alpha. I’ve been told basically all my life that I wasn’t allowed to be one. I – ” he sighed again. “I have a lot to learn.”

He ran his fingers through his hair, mussing it up. 

“I know I will be a good alpha. I’m just not sure when, I suppose. I – I guess I was hoping maybe you could help me figure it out. I help you, you help me. What do you say?”

Yes, what _did_ he say? This was fine. He didn’t buy this weird society where everyone is a beta story. Cas must have some weird habits he was trying to explain away. He could roll with it, as long as it was safe. He wasn’t thrilled that Cas was making up this hogwash instead of just being honest about his weird crap, but whatever. They hardly knew each other. He didn’t need to know all his secrets. But maybe he wouldn't be so quick to think Cas was a nice and respectful guy from now on. And this served him just fine. If he could swing plan A, he was gone, no harm no foul. But it left a door open for plan B. And Cas asking for his help gave Dean the perfect opening to ask for the changes he wanted. “A good alpha would provide a better home for his omega”, he was already hearing himself say.

“Sounds like a plan. I – I’m not an alpha, so there are things I can’t help you with, of course. But I’ll help how I can.”

He just had to remember it was a game. He didn’t know what Cas was playing for, but he had the time to find out. He had faced and fought actual monsters. He knew how to protect himself, He just had to make sure he didn’t fall for the guy's lies.


	3. Instinct

He waited until the following weekend to “notice” that he’d “accidentally” brought the keys with him and ask Castiel to take him back to his old house to return them to the brothers or leave them in the mailbox. Cas could drop him off on his way to work on Monday, and he’d walk back after dropping the keys, as it wasn’t that far, he’d argued. 

As it turned out, he was glad Cas hadn’t left him there to walk home after all. The Impala was gone. Plan A was a bust. On to plan B then. 

He’d been watching Cas since he’d moved in. There wasn’t a lot to watch, really. His life was, not to put too fine a point on it, boring. Outside of work and errands, he didn’t go anywhere. He didn’t seem to have friends, or even hobbies. He worked, he ate, he slept, he read. That seemed to be about all. Maybe some of that was because of Dean moving in. Giving him space to settle in. 

Dean decided there was no time like the present for getting things moving, though. He really wasn’t that interested in getting too settled here. He started cooking for them every night, trying to draw Castiel into conversation. He was a sly one though. Somehow they always ended up talking about Dean, Dean’s interests, and Dean’s story. 

“So, I don’t want to be rude or anything but I gotta ask,” he finally blurted out. “How come we always end up talking about me? I am at least as interested in your story as you are in mine.”

“It’s really not a good idea to talk about my past,” Cas explained. “I understand that’s not really fair to you, but this place where I used to live... It’s a refuge for a lot of people. A lot of people that wouldn’t be safe if they were found. We’re discouraged from talking about it, even in the vaguest terms, just in case.”

_How convenient._ He was going with I’d tell you more about this extraordinary place but I’m not allowed to discuss it. _Sure. That wasn’t suspicious at all._ Still, Dean learned enough. If he was going to make any progress on plan B, he was going to need Castiel to forget his agenda and let his alpha side take over. And as it happened, his heat was due to start in another week or so. That gave him an edge he wasn’t about to waste.

Castiel was pretty good at picking up after himself, at first, but Dean insisted that it was his job to keep things organized, as Castiel’s was to go out into the world and provide. While Castiel was going out into the world and providing, Dean got busy rearranging everything in the kitchen until Cas lost track of where everything was. It was time to establish his place in the household and remind the alpha of the advantages of having a mate. He’d never met an alpha who liked to do dishes. 

Then he started on the living area. Small at first, reorganizing the movies, and moving some pillows around. Castiel hardly seemed to notice, until Dean moved some of his older books around. That finally made him visibly uncomfortable. Threw him off his game. _That’s right, get frustrated. Off balance. Angry even. Show me who you really are under this façade._

When the first signs of his heat appeared, he looked for a reaction and didn’t find one. Not even a comment about the change in his scent. No questions about when the heat was expected, or how they were going to handle it, or whether Dean needed any supplies to get through it. Maybe Castiel was playing it close to his chest? Dean had been working to throw him off his game, after all. 

Dean wasn’t sure how to prepare. He hadn’t actually experienced a proper heat in years. He’d avoided them as much as he could, after he lost dad and Sammy in that first one. Not so much because of them, as because he’d never felt so helpless. Dean wasn’t used to feeling like he had no control over himself. He’d always made sure he had blockers when the time came. He never wanted to face another heat alone. Still, all he had to do here was let biology take over. For once, it would push him exactly where he wanted to go. And it might actually be better to be less prepared than he should be. It would give Cas the opportunity to jump in and make it better. Jump into his alpha role.

He hadn’t considered what would happen if Cas didn’t take the bait. 

Cas was at work when the heat started, and Dean called to let him know. Cas had sounded concerned enough, and asked if there was something he needed to bring home, but instead of coming home right away, he was actually later than usual. He’d left work at his usual time, and then ran to a store for the supplies Dean had mentioned.

Dean had paced the entire time, feeling the heat rising, watching the clock, trying to plan what he would do and discern what it meant that Cas hadn’t come running. Was Cas onto him? Did he know this was something of a trap? Was he just doing the alpha thing and showing him that he wasn’t as important as he wanted to be? Was he having car trouble? He had all these questions, but he couldn’t think clearly through the heat and the cramps and the urges clawing their way though him. He held on to one thought. _This is good. This will shake Castiel. His instinct will take over and everything will be fine. This is good._

He was partly right. Castiel arrived, bringing with him the things Dean had asked for. He’d looked like he was about to express friendly and perfectly polite concern for Dean when Dean’s biology took over at the smell of alpha. He rushed Castiel, buried his nose in the alpha’s neck and whined his most pathetic, needy whine. For a moment Castiel hesitated, but the closeness suddenly made the omega’s scent impossible to tune out, and the assault on his nose and his skin was too much. 

“Dean, I - ”

But he couldn’t think of what to say, and Dean’s impatient whimper shredded the last of his self-control. Now he understood every warning he’d ever heard about scenting. He could almost physically feel part of his brain give up, and the primal instinct that it had been holding in check, the wolf brain he’d forced into the shadows, suddenly breaking free, taking over. He walked Dean back against the wall, pinned his shoulders back. Maybe if he could get that nose to stop nuzzling at his neck he could figure out how to think again. But the wolf brain saw his hands pinning the omega to the wall and snuffed out any thought of coming to his senses.

And then Castiel’s nose was buried in Dean’s neck, nuzzling at the gland there, and when Dean’s neck arched, a growl built in his throat. The rest of the night was a blur of tangled limbs and smells he couldn’t make sense of and somehow made it hard for him to make sense of himself. He woke up in his bed, next to Dean, when his alarm went off the next morning. He was surprised to find he’d fallen asleep at all. 

He made his way to the bathroom and stood over the sink. He had completely lost control. Multiple times. Every time he had been anywhere near regaining his senses, Dean’s scent would drag him back down again. It had never been this intoxicating before. This must me what heat does. A lot of things that had never made sense to him before were suddenly clearer. He couldn’t bring himself to look too closely in the mirror. Shame overwhelmed him as strongly as lust had. He needed to get away from here and think. Time to get ready for work.


	4. Heat wave

Castiel was in the elevator on his way up to his floor when he first realized coming in to work was probably a mistake. Michael was looking at him awkwardly, the way people usually did when he’d blundered. He nodded at Michael.

“Didn’t expect you in today. Didn’t you say your omega was in heat?”

“Well, we’re not -” but before he could finish the sentence, a flash a memory intruded. Somewhere in all the haze of tangled limbs, he could see a fresh bite. A mating bite. Had he mated Dean while they were both out of control?

“Mated,” he finished, uncertain and embarrassed. “We’re not mated yet, so I wasn’t sure if I should come in and -” again, he didn’t know how to finish the sentence. And what? What would an alpha who knew about these things be doing at work right now?

“Well,” Michael inadvertently came to the rescue. “If you’re not mated, it was probably good to come in personally and ask for heat leave instead of just calling. Although you could have done that before you left yesterday, man.”

“Yeah, I guess I did kinda rush out of here without thinking,” Castiel agreed. 

Michael chuckled. 

“Guess this must be your first heat together, uh? Not gonna ask, I still remember mine. I don’t think Chuck is in yet, but he shouldn’t be long. You can ask and be on your way in no time.”

The elevator opened and Castiel headed for his desk, made himself look busy. An inquisitive look from Gabriel soon had Michael repeating his explanation, and Gabriel offering advice. 

“While you’re waiting out your knot is a great time to hydrate!”

And then they were off reminiscing about their omegas and their first heats together. This part, while embarrassing, was the best way Castiel had found thus far to learn what was expected of an alpha. Look busy, nod encouragingly, and eavesdrop. By the time Chuck came in, he’d learned that omegas in heat need a lot of water, protein, and sex. Not necessarily in that order. Also, how to make sure there wouldn’t be a pup on the way by the end of it, if it wasn’t already too late. There was something about soft things and a nest, though Dean had showed no signs of wanting to build anything. And a lot of talk about scenting. He had a new appreciation for this bit after yesterday.

He followed Chuck into his office and was out again in a few minutes and headed home. He wouldn’t be back until Monday, but he’d have to make up the hours.

oOo

Dean woke up as the next wave of heat was starting to build to find that Cas was gone. That was probably not good. But on the other hand, he was now sporting a mating bite, and that _was_ good. That was progress.

He found the pills he’d asked for, took two, and went back to bed. He had hoped to find Cas in bed, all lovey dovey and ready to hand him whatever he asked for. If he was honest with himself (and he always tried to be), he was also hoping for more sex. It might be just the heat talking, but it seemed Cas was surprisingly good at it. This was ok, though. He had the pills to help with the heat, and he could use this later. He couldn’t really remember not being alone for his heats anyway.

He curled up in bed and snuggled into the blankets. He felt himself relaxing almost against his will. He couldn’t help it, it smelled like a lazy summer morning under there. Like dew on crushed grass and wildflowers. He could almost feel the grass under his back, hear a younger version of himself laughing with Sammy about some puffy cloud that looks like an elephant with a mermaid tail. He dozed off again with a smile on his face.

The sound of the door being unlocked woke him up, and he checked the time. He hadn’t slept all day, had he? But no, it was still mid-morning. He waited, following the sound of footsteps to the kitchen, then to the bedroom door. He heard the door open slowly, then close again. Had Cas come in or gone back to the living room? He curled up tighter and whined softly, just in case he had an audience. Nothing.

He was still trying to figure out what he was going to do when the smell of bacon got his attention. He was, suddenly, ravenous. Remembering to move slowly and low key while occasionally, he padded out to the kitchen to find Castiel cooking breakfast. Or brunch, or whatever. There was bacon, scrambled eggs, bread ready to toast, decent looking hash browns and juice. He made a slice of toast, taking care to look pathetic in case Cas looked up from the bacon.

Cas glanced, look embarrassed, and turned back to the bacon without a word. He made attempts at polite conversation as they ate but shipped Dean back to bed with a bottle of water after. Dean could hear him cleaning up in the kitchen.

He heard the TV come on, a heavy body landing on the couch, and the quiet shuffling of papers. An experimental whine brought footsteps to the bedroom door. He rolled over, pretending to sleep. In another hour or so the pills would wear off and the heat, cramps and urgency would return. He could take more, but his heat had worked wonders so far to get Castiel where he wanted him, and he was enjoying having someone checking on him for a change. He snuggled closer to the smell of summer and started making plans.

oOo

Dean had stashed the rest of the pills in his bug out bag, pretending to take them. He was safe enough here, and the heat was serving his purpose. Plus, his heats had never been that bad anyway. He could ride it out. Later he’d need the suppressants and he wouldn’t want to go and get some, give himself away, until he was well and safely established somewhere.

Castiel had not left the apartment since that first day, 4 days ago now. He’d been attentive. At least that’s what he was trying to be, Dean supposed. He’d been helpful, providing everything from water to sex when Dean needed it. He'd cooked, and cleaned, and brought water with annoying regularity. It should have been comforting and encouraging, but it was mostly confusing because as Cas got better at anticipating and providing for his needs, he also became more in control of his own instinctive reactions. He never lost it again as he had the night he’d mated Dean without fully realizing what he was doing. Dean didn’t know if he had more or less control now, after this heat, but nevertheless, his goal was achieved. They were mated. He’d given Cas a taste of what his omega could offer Castiel’s alpha. Castiel had wolfed it down as if he’d never tasted anything that delicious before. As if he’d never had a taste of anything at all, actually. He’d want it again, even if he seemed more removed from that now. 

They didn’t really talk about anything important until it was Sunday night, and they were in bed. The heat was basically over, and Castiel had announced he’d be going to work on Monday, and that he’d be working late every night this week, to make up the lost hours. Dean made a big show of being clingy, took a moment to enjoy the relaxing scent of his mate, and smelled the uneasiness. He wasn’t done.

“I apologize for not being prepared, and for leaving for work that first day. I should have looked into heats when you moved in here. I’m… I thought there would be more time. And that after I told you I had so much still to learn, I thought that you’d let me know what was coming and what you’d need. I’m not trying to make excuses, just explaining I didn’t know anything about heats. I barely understand ruts, to be honest.”

“You said they have alphas and omegas where you come from. You’re an alpha yourself. How can you not know anything about our basic biology?”

This story was more of a stretch every day and pushing the limits of credibility well beyond reasonable doubt. If this mythical place were everyone lived like a beta existed at all, it certainly wouldn’t be immune from biology. If they had alphas, they had ruts. If they had omegas, they had heats. This wasn’t optional, no matter where you lived.

“it’s… complicated. The short version is alphas and omegas have to be on suppressors at all times to be allowed to live there. If for some reason you feel a heat or rut coming anyway, you have to leave until it’s over.” He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. “I never really experienced a proper rut until the last one, after I’d left there. It was… difficult.”

He shifted as if he was about to roll onto his side, but then didn’t.

“I spent some time researching omegas and what they need while you were in heat, so something this big shouldn’t come up again. I’m sorry I didn’t do it sooner, I –“ he sighed and repeated “I thought there’d be more time. But Dean, this is the help I asked for. I need you to help me understand what is expected of me in such situations. When I told you I didn’t know how to be a good alpha, or a good mate, this is the kind of thing I was talking about.”


	5. Breakfast is served

It was probably because he’d spent so much time alone. Or maybe residual horniness from the heat that just passed. It helped that sex with Castiel was nothing like the sex he’d had before, but it wasn’t Castiel he wanted. He wasn’t stupid enough to get so easily attached to an alpha. He didn’t want Castiel. He wanted sex. Ok, fine. He wanted sex with Castiel.

It was just that he had discovered that sex could be fun for him too, and he wanted to explore that. He’d had a lot of sex before. Clumsy experimenting when he was a kid, which he was quite certain wasn’t that much fun for anybody. Then boring sex, when he’d presented and gone pro when the necessity arose. He’d mostly detached from it and couldn’t really bring himself to have feelings about it at all. With Alex it felt like homework. It was expected, and they had dutifully done the bare minimum that would satisfy requirements, but it hadn’t been fun for Dean, and he was fairly certain Alex wasn’t really into it either. Sex with Castiel was somehow different. He couldn’t quite figure out how. It was probably just the heat hormones messing with his head.

Unfortunately for Dean, Castiel was off working long hours to make up for taking a few days off. And Dean was trying to impress Cas with what a good omega he was. He was fairly certain omegas didn’t make demands of their alphas. Or at least weren’t supposed to. So he’d just be extra good and inspire Cas to make some demands of him instead. Whenever he got home.

He’d kept himself busy scoping out possible places to sell the valuables he brought from Alex’s house in the mornings, and after lunch, he watched TV for a while, and then made sure everything would be ready for Castiel. He cleaned, he cooked, he moved his things into the bedroom, making sure he managed to place them as inconveniently as possible for Castiel. The sooner Cas started thinking they needed a bigger place where Dean could have his own room for his own stuff the better.

Cas wasn’t taking the bait, though. He came in late. He enjoyed his meal and thanked him profusely for cooking. They would chat about their days, both being as vague as possible about their doings, as he was eating. Cas always tried to clean his dishes even though he knew Dean would intercept him and insist on doing them himself. Then he dragged himself to bed, talking about going in early again the next day. When Dean made it to bed, Castiel was out cold. When Dean woke up in the morning, he was gone.

Dean always seemed to wake up half in Castiel’s side of the bed, no matter how he tried to settle in safely on his own side. It was probably that relaxing scent pulling him in when his guard was down. Maybe he could get Castiel to use some sort of product to mask his natural scent. He couldn’t afford to get used to this. Or to relax too much. He needed to be on his toes.

Finally, it was the weekend, and Dean woke up sprawled over Castiel’s chest. No work today. Time to pull out all the stops.

He got up and made sure he looked his most attractive before emerging from the bathroom. He cooked breakfast. Something light that would leave Castiel still feeling vaguely hungry and not quite satisfied. Something that might draw his attention to the tasty morsel parading around the kitchen in a frilly apron. He made sure he made some noise when he was ready to serve. If he was a bit cranky from waking up to clanking pots and pans, he might be less inclined to trouble himself about whether or not Dean was in the mood.

Cas came out a few minutes later, rubbing his eyes and yawning, still in his shorts. Turned out his mate wasn’t really a PJ guy. That’d come in handy in the winter. If Dean was still here, that is. Anyway, he came out, looking mussed and not yet fully awake, and sat down to eat, grumbling something about sleeping late. A couple of sips of coffee later, he was more alert, his eyes discreetly sweeping the kitchen, as if looking for something else he could eat. Dean made himself look as yummy as possible. He started to clean the table around Castiel, making himself think of all the things he’d like to try, dangling the smell of arousal right under Castiel’s nose. Castiel didn’t do anything, but Dean had his attention. The scent of alpha arousal was starting to tickle at his own nose, too. And yet, Castiel didn’t make a move.

He finished cleaning, making sure he showed off his considerable assets any time he got the chance. And then he ran out of patience. He walked right up to where Cas was still sitting, trying to decide what his next move should be and looked into the fire that had been steadily building in his eyes.

“You know how you asked me to help you be a better alpha?”

Castiel nodded and waited.

“When it comes to his own omega, an alpha seldom troubles himself about details. He simply takes what he wants.”

Just in case that wasn’t a big enough hint, he walked his fingers up Castiel’s chest and moved in closer.

“Well,” Castiel responded, coarsely. “I want to go back to bed.”

And in one swift move, he picked up the Omega and made sure to show him his profound gratitude for the lesson.

oOo

They were waiting out the knot when Castiel mentioned how Dean’s stuff had taken over the bathroom sink and left no room for Castiel’s toothbrush. 

“We need a bigger place where I can have my own room, with my own sink,” Dean hinted, without pressure.

“We can’t afford a bigger place right now,” Cas countered. He’d only been in town a few months, and he wasn’t the most assertive alpha. It would likely be some time before finances improved to the point of a bigger place.

Deciding to change tactics, Dean nodded, indicating he found this to be reasonable. 

“I could maybe just rearrange a few things. Get a bigger bookcase, a better cabinet.”

It dawned on Castiel that Dean wasn’t really catching on that they didn’t have much in the way of disposable income at the moment. He was picking his words carefully, wanting to be clear, as Dean continued with his redecorating thoughts, but he was pulled out of his own head with a jolt soon enough.

“It won’t take much. Four, maybe five hundred should do it. When can I have an allowance?”


	6. Summer storm

As it turned out, even though Castiel had been Alex’s coworker, he didn’t make nearly as much money. Probably because he was new in town, sure. But also because he hadn’t tried to negotiate it, which even Dean knew wouldn’t be a good look for an alpha. Castiel had been advised to ask for a raise, assertively. He’s also left Dean all the money he had left, for groceries and such.

Dean couldn’t deny it was a bit of a setback. He was hoping to save up quite a bit more money from his allowance. But if there was one thing his childhood had taught him, it was how to live on very little money. He was an expert. He went to yard sales instead of furniture stores. He looked at discount stores and thrift stores, and it took him all day but he ended up buying more than what they needed for less than half the money Castiel had given him. He stashed the rest, along with what he could get for one of Alex’s old, less distinctive, rings. 

The plan was going to need some adjustments, though. He wasn’t going to be able to get a car of his own out of Castiel, no matter how willing Cas might be unless Cas managed to get a decent raise. He was going to need to be encouraged to assert himself. And so, Dean started to prod. Initially just hints. Reminiscing about having his own room and working on Baby. Pointing out why they needed a bigger house. Then he escalated to reminding him to ask for that raise, asking if he got around to it. By the end of the week, he’d started listing all the things a good alpha should provide that Castiel couldn’t give him now. 

He started to ask himself if he was pushing too far when he noticed the change in Castiel’s scent. When he woke up with his nose deep in his pillow, it was starting to feel less like a lazy summer morning, and more like mid-afternoon in the dog days. Stifling. Oppressive. The flowers and crushed grass were still there, but there was a sense of too hot, restless stirring. Like the grass was mere days from turning yellow and the flowers were about to dry up. He couldn’t relax into it. He found it made him cranky. And it didn’t help that Castiel had started working late again, every day. 

Probably trying to get away from his nagging, Dean supposed. He had pushed that too far, he could tell, but he was frustrated and he missed the way his mate’s scent used to relax him, and he hated that he missed it. He was going to move on sooner rather than later, anyway. He shouldn’t be getting attached to anything of Castiel’s. Especially not his scent. 

He hadn’t felt this way since he’d been a child demanding candy at the store. And just as his mother’s refusal to buy it for him had left him uncertain and weirdly bereft, the fact that Castiel hadn’t come home the next day to tell him he got a huge raise was troubling him. Why didn’t he ask? Clearly, he didn’t care that Dean was uncomfortable and didn’t have any of the things he needed. And alone too, now that Cas was always working late. He supposed he couldn’t blame Cas too much. Dean was always alone. Nobody cared. Why should Cas? 

Then it was payday, and Castiel brought cash home. His usual grocery budget, adjusted to cover the needs of two people instead of just one. And a bit more. Spending money. An allowance. That’s when Dean lost it. 

He knew, in the rational part of his mind, that this was progress. Hard work. That Castiel was trying to make things happen, in his own way. But when the money was in his hand, he couldn’t help it. Was this it? Was this the best Cas could do for him? Was this all he was worth? He couldn’t help it, he got angry. 

He saw the way the light faded from Castiel’s eyes. How his face closed up, how he braced for another round of "prodding". How the hope in his eyes was replaced with confusion. How his shoulders slumped and his eyes became inexorably drawn to his shoes. He knew that he was about to do something really stupid, but he was too angry to hold himself back, especially with Castiel just standing there, looking like none of Dean’s words could reach him. 

So he let loose. Viciously, relentlessly. The only way he knew how to fight. Except that he’d never been in a fight where the other guy didn’t fight back, and now that he had started he really wished that Cas would just knock some sense into him and make him shut up before he said something he could never fix. And then he made himself say it, because fuck it. He was going to leave anyway, in the end, so why not? There was nothing real to fix. 

Castiel let him vent. He kept his eyes down, and his mouth shut, and it wasn’t until Dean turned around to leave the room, equal parts indignation and shame, that Cas finally spoke. 

“I told you,” and he couldn’t help the way his voice broke a little on that word. “I told you I wasn’t good at this yet. I asked for help.” 

He let himself fall into the sofa, focusing his eyes on the TV screen as if it wasn’t turned off. 

“I’m never going to regret claiming you to get you out of that jam. But I apologize for mating you. I shouldn’t have done that when I wasn’t ready. Especially not without asking you. It just messed everything up. I'm sorry.” 

Castiel stayed on the sofa that night. Dean, alone in bed, started plotting. He would buy supplies. He would sell Alex’s old stuff. He would act like he had just been hormonal and pretend this was a normal omega thing. He’d play nice, maybe even get all lovey dovey for a few days. And then when he got money from Castiel again, he’d skip out with whatever he had. He’d started with less before. It would work.


	7. Chapter 7

Dean was up and cooking breakfast when Cas woke up, early as it was. 

“Good morning! I hope you’re hungry, I made breakfast.”

He put on his most cheerful smile, as if he’d never been happier in his life. Truth be told, he was in fact enjoying it. He hadn’t done anything like this since Sammy, and now that he was doing it again he realized how much he missed taking care of someone.

He chattered for a few minutes, giving Cas a chance to drink some coffee and take it in.

“Listen, about last night…” he paused significantly, waiting for Castiel’s full attention. “Look, I’m sorry. I hadn’t taken my blockers, my hormones weren’t supposed to go crazy for another week or so, but I’ve always been a bit irregular.” 

He turned his back and kept talking, hoping he sounded embarrassed and apologetic enough. He would keep talking until Cas said something, rambling would make him sound awkward. 

“I really should have been prepared, omega hormones are a bitch. I bet you could smell the craziness from the moment you walk in the door, right?”

Cas didn’t take the opportunity to smooth things over, and the pause make Dean wonder why. 

“Right?” he insisted.

“I…” Cas hesitated, then sighed. “I wouldn’t know. I can’t smell that kind of stuff. I mean, my nose works, I guess, but I don’t know what I’m smelling.”

This got weirder by the minute. Dean kept his back turned, knowing a look at his face would give him away right now. How could he not know how to read someone’s scent? Fear smelled like fear, what was there to know? It was instinctive. Did Cas really think he was stupid enough to believe that? More importantly, why did he want him to believe that?   
He turned around when he could refocus his expression into casual interest.

“They don’t teach you that in Eden?” he casually asked as he set down a full plate in front of Cas.

Cas froze. His body tensed up. 

“What do you know about Eden? Why all the questions? Is this some sort of a trap? Are you trying to pump me for information?”

That had clearly been the wrong thing to say, Dean realized. Challenging a lie like that was a bad idea. And this was the part where, like any good gaslighter, he would now turn it on Dean.

“What? I have no idea what you’re talking about. I’m asking because I’m curious about your past, not because I know anything.”

“Then how do you know what the place is called?”

“It’s called Eden? I was just spitballing.”

This time, Dean’s reaction was genuine enough on its own to serve its purpose, and Castiel settled down, focused on his food.

“I don’t want to discuss the place, now or ever. It’s not safe.”

What were the odds that he’d guess the name like that? Very, very slim, Dean would guess. But then a fictional place can be called whatever is convenient. Cas had turned the situation around on him, putting him in the wrong to avoid answering questions. And made even asking questions a provocation. What was his angle? Why didn’t he want Dean to ask questions? Why did he want Dean to think he couldn’t read emotions? Was he just trying to establish an alibi for uncaring future behavior or was it more sinister?

oOo

They had breakfast together every day that week. Dean packed his lunch, had dinner waiting, and sat with him as they ate. They watched TV together, and chatted about silly stuff, and went to bed together. Dean started to relax when he could snuggle up to the scent of lazy summer mornings again. It was working. Cas was relaxing. 

He’d suggested a countryside picnic because it sounded romantic and it would be that much easier to get away if he didn’t have to dodge a million people. Cas had loved the idea of getting out of the city for a bit, spending some real time together hanging out under the sun. 

It was almost too easy. Cas came home on Friday, gave Dean his allowance, and money for groceries. On Saturday, Dean went out, bought supplies, packed a bag. They left early on Sunday, drove around looking for a good place. When they found one, they settled in, looked at clouds, ate lunch and looked at clouds some more. Then Dean excused himself to go find a tree. And he didn’t come back.


	8. The jig is up

Castiel stretched out on the grass, enjoying the warmth of the sun as he replayed the conversation he’d just had. They’d been talking about how great the last week had been, and how much they had enjoyed their time together. Cas had thanked Dean for his help and his contributions and asked for a tip about how he could be a better alpha. That’s when Dean had said it.

“Stop worrying so much. Your instincts are good, but you second guess yourself until you can’t figure out which way is up.”

Cas felt that was a pretty fair assessment. Except for the bit about his instincts being good. Cas couldn’t really agree on that front. But maybe that was his upbringing talking. His second guessing again. Could it really be that simple? He’d tried to argue the point but Dean didn’t let him.

“When’s the last time you even listened to your instinct without judgment? The thing that most people don’t get about instinct is” and here he’d gotten all serious and reminded Castiel of an old professor about to impart some serious wisdom “that it’s not an all or nothing thing. You don’t have to be ruled by it. It’s not a choice between listening to your instinct and becoming an animal or ignoring it entirely.”

He’d sat up, nudging Cas, and waiting until Cas was also sitting on the grass. Then he’d leaned in.

“Your instinct doesn’t always have the same goals as you, but it exists to help you thrive. It doesn’t always agree with your reason, but it has access to information your reason didn’t notice. For countless generations, instinct has served us well. Even you. The trick is, you let instinct show you where to go. But you let reason tell you how to get there.”

That was actually a helpful image, Cas found. As much as he’d been conditioned to mistrust his instincts, most of the time, they felt pretty benign, or at least neutral, to him. The trouble with instinct, he’d reasoned, is that it makes you rash. You mean well, but before you know it you’ve gone ahead and planted a mating bite without permission. Then again, it had been instinct that had made him reach out to Dean when he heard that Alex had died, and he’d arrived just in time.

Dean’s idea seemed like a reasonable compromise. Let instinct tell you what you want. Right now that seemed to be Dean on a blanket of wildflowers. Let reason tell you how to get it. Castiel thought about it for a moment. They had rolled out the blanket next to a patch of wildflowers. If he moved over there and lay down on the flowers to wait, Dean might well lay down next to him when he returned.

He was settled into his new spot when it dawned on him that Dean had been gone a while. He sat up again and called out, looking around. How much privacy did he need? Could he have run into some problem? Slipped and hit his head on a tree? Been attacked by a wild animal? Ran afoul of some young alpha jerks out looking for trouble? He got up and looked around the immediate area. No sign of Dean. 

Now beginning to get alarmed, Cas started combing through the edge of the woods nearby, going as far in as he thought he could go without getting lost himself, calling all the way. When he still couldn’t find anything, he turned to return to the blanket, and exiting the tree line, noticed how tall the grass was between the tree line and the meadow. If Dean had fallen in this grass, he would be almost completely hidden. He searched the grass as well, alarm getting closer to panic with every other step. Maybe he should go back to the car. Dean might have gone in there for something and fallen or even decided to sit down for a minute and dozed off.

He hadn’t found Dean there, but he’d found answers. He had decided to grab the first aid kit out of the trunk to carry with him in case Dean was hurt. That’s when he realized the first aid kit was gone. So was the mysterious blue bag Dean had placed in there earlier today. He’d said it was a surprise for later. Castiel had thought he meant to bring some sort of game they could play, maybe some of his music to listen to when they got bored of looking at clouds. 

He closed the trunk and leaned against it. It was a surprise, alright. He ran his fingers through his hair, the intense emotions of the day leaching out of him until he felt nothing but exhaustion. Dean was gone. On purpose. He'd planned it.

oOo

It had taken longer than he anticipated to get to the car and retrieve the bag without alerting Castiel, which was why he’d ended up stranded up a tree for hours, watching the search. He had hoped to be long gone by the time it got this far. He’d never stuck around long enough to see what happened after the jig was up. He hadn’t meant to this time.   
He made himself stay in the tree. If experience had taught him anything, it was that people almost never look up when they’re searching like this. He stayed up there, and he kept quiet, and eventually Cas made his way to the car and the jig was up. He saw the energy evaporate. Saw the shoulders slump. Heard the way the frustration replaced worry when Cas shouted his name one last time. Watched him walk back to where the blanket was, clean up and head back to the car without the blanket.

When the car was long gone, Dean made his way down and back to where the blanket had been, curious despite his better sense. He found the blanket there, neatly folded up, and the food they hadn’t eaten securely stored on top of that. That was the moment he first asked himself if he’d fucked up.

He started walking, found an old abandoned barn, and hunkered down for the night. He was wrapped up in the blanket when the questions crowded him again. From the moment Cas had showed up at Alex’s door to the moment he drove off without the blanket, Dean had been focused on escape. Now that he had escaped, his brain was suddenly revisiting all the things it felt he should have paid more attention to. A voice he very much feared was his instinct was getting louder with every minute. Reminding him of how easily he’d relaxed into the scent Cas left on his pillows. How good it had felt to spend time with him this week. Cas when he walked into the mess developing at Alex’s house. Cas had come through for him then. _He would have helped you get out that first week if you had just asked._ Or so the voice insisted.

He put a stop to that. Maybe he would have, maybe not. But it was too late to find out. It was too late. Cas knew what he’d done, and his chance to ask for anything was gone. So he made himself focus on what he’d do tomorrow, where he’d go from here. 

But he couldn’t make himself go anywhere the next day. Doubt had crept in and now he was second guessing himself into paralysis. What if his judgment had failed him that badly with Cas? What else would it fail him on? What could he trust? What did he know beyond question? What could he count on, if his instinct and judgement could lead him this far astray?

He was still there the next night, and the morning after that. That’s when he ran out of food and resolved that he had to do something. He walked out of the barn and kept walking.

oOo

Dean hadn’t been on the road more than a few minutes when he realized he was being followed. He moved faster, ducked into some trees and was about to climb up when he suddenly found himself surrounded. It seemed he’d rather underestimated how much attention an unfamiliar face could draw out in the middle of nowhere. He turned, turning on the charm, but before he could say a single word, he was out. There was a flash of movement, then he was struggling for awareness, faintly hearing what sounded like half a dozen men arguing over who he was and what to do with him. And then there was nothing.

When he woke up, he was in a room right out of his nightmares. They’d apparently figured out enough to call the omega center. He was in an isolation room. He was undoubtedly being watched. If what he’d heard was anything to go by, things were about to get hairy. He tried to clear his head. Snickered a little at himself. All that effort to avoid this and he’d ended up here anyway. It was almost hilarious.

He looked around the room, effortlessly slipping into damage control mode. What could he use? What could he say? What did they know? What had been on him that he’d have to explain away? 

The betas arrived a few minutes later, in their clean pressed uniforms, and informed him that he was wanted in the office. That was a funny way to say he was about to be interrogated so they could determine just how badly they were going to punish him. He followed quietly, every inch of him a compliant, suitably docile omega. He settled into the chair they’d pointed out, and had been asked barely more than his name when the door slammed open and (of all people) Castiel marched into the room.


	9. True Colors

Castiel had been at work when he got the call. He’d stood up, confused initially about what lost property had been recovered and why it would be at the center. Glances between his coworkers quickly helped him put everything together. He’d barked that he was on the way and walked out. For the first time in his life, he felt no hesitation. He didn't ask for directions. He didn't ask for permission. He didn't tell anyone where he was going or when he'd be back. He didn’t make a decision, exactly. He just left, went directly to the center and burst through the door, all without ever stopping to question his actions. And yet, he was in full control. That was decidedly a first.

He’d walked in to see Dean demurely seated in a chair while two betas loomed threateningly over him. He wasn’t sure who looked more surprised to see him. He stalked closer to Dean, his presence enough to move the betas back, out of his way. He saw Dean’s eyes widen, his head fall.

“There you are.” Castiel looked around, saw the blue bag and grabbed it without hesitation. 

“And here’s the rest of my property.” He threw the bag into Dean’s lap and kept talking, as certain he would be obeyed as if they did this every day.

“Let’s go, I don’t have time for this.”

Dean looked up, his hands automatically gripping the bag, and hesitated. What was going on here? Had Cas arranged something with the center? He’d never heard of a runaway omega being returned to his alpha without correction. Surely they weren’t just going to let him walk out of here. He started to get up, but he’d hesitated a second too long. The betas were talking now, explaining he needed to be punished.

Without missing a beat, Castiel ignored them entirely, and continued to talk to Dean.

“You know I had to leave work early to come get you. I was in a meeting. This will not be happening again, do you understand?”

Dean nodded, still not sure what was happening, but understanding some response was required of him right now.

“You will go home. Leave the bag in the car, I’ll take care of it later. I don’t want you going in the house. Directly into the barn when you get there. I better not see any sign that you were in the house when I get there. You are to wait for me in the barn.”

The betas continued to hover, attempting to cut in, and finally Castiel moved to talk to them, condescension in his tone, as if he really shouldn’t have to be bothered like this.

“Yes, yes, punishment. I heard you the first time. I can punish my own omega, thank you. In fact, that is exactly what I was doing when you decided to interrupt his lesson by dragging him here, and causing me a considerable inconvenience.”

He shook them off like flies and returned his attention to Dean. It was suddenly dawning on him that this was another rescue. He focused on what Castiel was telling him, trying to figure out what the plan was, playing along and not blowing this.

“What are your directions?”

He whimpered a little. He would have paid more attention if he’d realized there was a pop quiz.

Visibly gritting his teeth, his voice barely above a growl, Castiel repeated, more forcefully.

_“What are your directions?”_

Not having to work at sounding confused and scared for once, Dean stammered.

“Go home. Leave the bag in the car. Go right to the barn, not allowed in the house. Wait in the barn.”

“ _Now_ , Dean.” Castiel insisted, throwing his arm towards the door.

And he turned his back on Dean, his arms going around the betas almost conspiratorially, belying the ice in his voice.

“Now gentlemen. Let’s discuss why my omega is here and what exactly your part is in this waste of my time. Exactly how did you come to interrupt my punishment?”

Dean slid out of the chair, still gripping the bag, and edged towards the door. Okay, he could slip out of this room, sure. But there were guards everywhere. How was he supposed to get past them? He didn’t have to wonder long, however. He had not taken two steps into the hallway before he heard a loud crash. Another step and he heard an alarm go off, and then it seemed like every guard in the place was converging on the room he’d just left. Not daring to believe it, he kept moving. When he moved past a room where people were locked up, he picked the lock. Then he broke a window and heard another alarm kick on. A little more chaos couldn’t hurt. Castiel would not be able to keep them all busy for very long.

 _One step at a time, Dean_. First, he had to get out of the building. A few more turns and he was sliding out the front door. Whatever guards hadn’t gone into the interrogation room were out chasing the people he’d let out. Right, next step. _Bag in the car._ He looked around and found the car, a few spaces away, unlocked, the keys in the ignition. _Ok, deep breath. Go home._ Was he supposed to take the car? Driving would be faster and safer, but what would Cas do when he got out of there? _Snap out of it! You’ll get caught if you don’t get out of here now, one way or the other._

He drove, reasoning that Cas wouldn’t have mentioned the car if he didn’t mean for Dean to take it. He made himself drive within the speed limit. He did not need to attract attention. Somehow he made it to the apartment complex, though he couldn’t remember one second of the drive. He drove around the back, parked between two large utility trucks, and took a moment to check if everything was still in there. Some of the money was gone, but he’d hidden most of it in the lining, and that was still there. He slid out and locked the bag in the trunk, where it wouldn’t be seen. But now what? Go to the barn? What was that even supposed to mean when they didn’t have one? Or a house even? Was that a message for him or just an attempt to throw off any pursuers? 

_I’d better not see any sign that you were in the house_ , he’d said. That made more sense. He let himself in through the service door and made his way to the apartment unnoticed. He opened and locked the door as quietly as he could, and made his way to the bedroom, staying away from the windows. He desperately wanted a shower, but he knew if he turned on the water he’d be heard. So he sat on the floor, behind the bed. And he waited.


	10. The plot thickens

Castiel sat up and took a moment to take stock of the situation. He was in alpha jail, which was the best possible outcome after the stunt he’d just pulled. Nobody was dead, and that was also a plus. He wasn’t sure yet if Dean had managed to escape. Some other alarm had gone off and additional people had escaped in the confusion. He knew not everyone had been recaptured, but not who had made it out. That was probably Dean’s doing. 

Dean had seemed unharmed. He was sporting a bit of a shiner, but as far as he could tell in the brief moment he had to look Dean over, there were no other signs of injury. He had made it in time. Just.

He had no idea how long they meant to keep him here. He ran his fingers through his hair again and began to pace. How on earth had things gotten to this point? A few days ago he’d been the happiest he’d ever been in his life. And yet, at the same moment in time, Dean had been scared enough to risk running away, knowing what the consequences could be. How had he not seen it? 

What had he been doing working all those extra hours, leaving his mate alone? Sure, Dean had been complaining about money, and providing for that was going to require more work. But he should have known that was coming from insecurity and made sure he took the time to make his mate feel safe. He was going to have to learn to be more clinical in his approach if he was ever going to be a good alpha.

His pacing was interrupted some time later when another alpha was brought to the cell next to his. He gave the man a nod, and meant to resume pacing but the stranger must have been drunk or something because he laughed and tried to engage him in conversation immediately.

“So, what are ya in for?”

Castiel stopped, thought about it for a second and then decided that it would pass the time and perhaps distract him from worrying about whether or not Dean made it out safely.

“Brawling.”

“’S not what I heard,” the man snickered.

“Excuse me?”

“Heard you busted an omega out of the center.” He seemed to find this wildly amusing.

“You have been misinformed. I had a bone to pick with the betas and I may have gotten a bit carried away. That is all.”

“Was it an omega bone?” He laughed like this was the funniest thing he’d ever said. That must have been some bender that brought him here. Time to change the subject.

“What about you? Out celebrating something and drank yourself stupid?”

“Maybe. Bar fight,” The man pointed weirdly to his messy clothes and then continued. “You should have seen the other alpha.”

Not knowing what to say to that, Castiel said nothing, instead resuming his pacing.

“So this omega…” he started up again. “is he hot?”

“I’m sorry, who?”

“The omega you busted out. I mean, you must have had some reason to go to all this trouble.”

“Man, that must have been some bender. You’re going to have a headache in the morning. I’ll try to be quiet.”

He’d learned two very useful things, growing up as he did. How to tell when someone was pumping him for information. And how to avoid giving it to them without appearing to be recalcitrant. He got into the cot in the corner and turned his eyes resolutely to the wall.

“Castiel,” he heard. How did the man know his name?

Now on full alert, Castiel slowly sat up again, and walked up to the bars between them, where he stopped cold in his tracks. The odd man had dropped the alpha on a bender attitude and was now all business, pulling a wallet from his pocket and a business card from the wallet.

“Alright, you have my attention.”

“And you have mine,” he returned. “So let’s get down to business.”

Standing up and approaching the bars himself, the man continued.

“You may find that you find yourself in need of a change, suddenly. Maybe a new career in a new city where nobody knows about your _brawling_ or any potential omega you may or may not have been involved with.”

This kind of talk Castiel was very familiar with.

“I might, at some point, yes.”

“I work with a company that has a place I feel would be especially suitable to your needs and your… _talents._ ”

The man extended the business card through the bars.

“If you find that you are interested, go to that address. Ask for Benny.”

Castiel glanced at the card. 

“That’s a long way to go. And I may not have a car anymore.”

He started to hand the card back to the man but was shocked to find that he was now holding car keys.

“Take mine. It’s a company vehicle and I’ve been wanting an upgrade anyway.”

Castiel hesitated. This man knew more than he should. Who was he? How much did he know exactly? What was this job he was being offered? How could he just hand off the company vehicle to some stranger he just met in alpha jail, of all places. All very big, very important questions he had no answer to. But the man was right about one thing. After what he’d just done he should probably leave town, and start over somewhere else. 

He supposed he didn’t have to take the job just because he took the ride. And it should be safe enough to get himself there, if he was driving. He could always use this guy’s car to get there, then return the car and fade into the crowd if he didn’t like what this Benny had to say. He grabbed the key and put it in his pocket with the card.

“And if I find myself in such a need, what do I tell Benny?”

“Just tell him who you are. He’ll know everything he needs to know.”

He went back to the cot, but within minutes a guard came to let him out. He made his way to the parking lot, used the clicker on the key to find the right car, and made his way home to pack.


	11. freedom

Dean was still sitting on the floor behind the bed when he heard a key in the lock, followed by footsteps and then a lot of confusing noises from the other room. Carefully, he got up to investigate. He found Castiel carefully packing his books into a box. 

“Cas?” he hesitated, not wanting to startle him.

Cas looked up, and the surprise on his face was nothing to the surprise on Dean’s when he saw Cas smile in relief.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d made it.”

“Thanks for the rescue. I…” but how did he finish that sentence? I’m sorry? That seemed hopelessly inadequate. He swallowed hard, trying to get words, any words, past the sudden lump in his throat, but he couldn’t come up with anything.

“We don’t have much time. If you want to get in the shower or anything while I pack, now’s the time.”

Dean nodded, and took himself off to the shower, more to allow himself time to figure out why Cas hadn’t punched him in the face the second he walked in. He deserved it. He would have let him. In fact, he would have welcomed it, and felt better after. He was still wondering when he got out of the shower to find that Cas had taken the book box out, and was now dropping personal items into another box, rather less carefully.

“I’m going to grab my clothes. If you see anything you want, feel free to grab it. We won’t be coming back here.”

And Cas disappeared into the bedroom with a large trash bag while Dean looked around. Was there anything he wanted from here? Anything he could use? He grabbed some food, looked through a few drawers and found batteries. Then out of some silly impulse he grabbed a mug Cas often drank out of and stuffed it in his pocket. Cas came out of the bedroom with a bag and told Dean he was welcome to help himself to anything left in there as well. He took the clothes down to the car, and by the time he had returned for the box, Dean had grabbed only a sweater Cas was leaving behind. 

“Ready to go?” Cas had asked.

Dean nodded, walked out of the apartment and followed Cas to the side of the building, to where a large SUV with tinted windows was parked. Cas tossed the box in the trunk.

“I’ll go return the keys while you get the other bag from my car.”

oOo

Cas got into the car and indicated that Dean should get into the back seat, where the windows were significantly darker and would hide him. With a bright smile he tossed over his shoulder.

“You know, I used to wonder what you wanted from me. If I’d known it was a ride out of town, we could have done this weeks ago. I love a good road trip.”

He kept up the cheerful chatter for a good 15 minutes before Dean finally asked where they were going.

“Somewhere safe,” was all he could get out of Cas at first. 

He supposed he couldn’t blame Cas for not being more forthcoming. Dean hadn’t exactly given him a lot of reasons to be trusting. Not knowing what else to say, but needing desperately to fill the resulting awkward silence, Dean decided to indulge his curiosity.

“What happened? At the center? After I slipped out of the room?”

Castiel’s face split into a genuinely goofy smile before he schooled it back into a serious expression and said.

“I had a few words with the betas.”

“And…?”

“And then I took my clothes off and shifted,” he was still keeping a straight face, but it was clearly getting harder.

“Wait, wait, slow down. You what?”

“I kept talking to them as took off my tie, then slipped my coat and shirt off. They didn’t even think to object until I went for the pants.”

And now, he couldn’t hold back any longer. He pulled over to the side of the thankfully empty side road they were on and laughed so hard Dean couldn’t help himself. He forgot all the awkwardness and shame and laughed with Castiel until they were both crying. 

He tried. He really did. There were phrases like “chase through the halls” and “tripping over each other” and “leap over his head” that began to paint a picture, but the harder Castiel tried to tell Dean what had happened at the center, the harder they ended up laughing. When self-preservation finally stopped the laughter in favor of breathing, Dean turned to Cas and asked, quietly.

“You always say you don’t know how to be an alpha. But you knew how to do that?”

Castiel’s eyes went nostalgic.

“When I first presented, it was such a sad moment for my mother. She gave me the hormone blockers, game instructions on taking them. I knew, of course. I was not unaware of the community I lived in. But some new instinct in me wanted to object. She told me all the usual things. Alphas are reckless, she’d say. And I thought, but does that have to be bad? What if instead of recklessly chasing thrills they recklessly protect their family?” 

He gave a sad smile and shook his head.

“I spent a good couple of years making up all these dreams. Stories, in minute detail, where my alpha instincts were a superpower and not a threat. Someone would be in danger, usually some helpless omega looking disturbingly like a younger version of my mother, and I would come charging in to save the day with my alpha recklessness. I thought of every possibility. What I’d do, what I’d say.”

“What happened?” Dean wanted to know. Who killed the dreamer in Castiel?

“I grew up,” he answered. And without another word he got back on the road, the silence heavy between them again.

oOo

There were so many things Dean wanted to say. He needed to apologize. He needed to tell Cas that he’d been robbed of the life he could have had if he’d been allowed to be himself. So many important things he wanted to say. But he couldn’t find the words, so he said nothing, afraid of saying the wrong thing.

Remembering long road trips with Sammy, he tried to keep things light. They played silly road games because it was better than dwelling on somber history that they couldn’t change. And then they were out of side roads and into basically deserted country roads, and there was nothing to do in the darkness but get lost in their own heads.

He was pulled from his thoughts when the car stopped in front of what appeared to be an abandoned shack. 

“I can’t go any further than this,” Castiel explained. “You’ll have to go the rest of the way without me.”

It had not occurred to Dean until just now that Castiel might not intend to take Dean with him, wherever he was going.

“Where am I going?”

“To Eden. You’ll be safe there. You can stay permanently if you want. A lot of outsiders find it burdensome after a while. But even if you choose not to stay, it’s a good place to get your bearings, figure out what you’re going to do with the rest of your life.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’ve been offered a job somewhere else. Somewhere where nobody has any idea there was ever an omega and won’t ask inconvenient questions.”

Castiel got out of the car, so Dean followed. When he popped the trunk, Dean grabbed his bag on autopilot. Something felt very wrong. He couldn’t place it, but he didn’t like it.

They walked to the shack, and Castiel turned on a lamp on a far window.

“We don’t have much time, someone will be here soon, and I can’t be here when they arrive,” Castiel explained, keeping his eye on the darkness out the window.

“You’ll need a new name. Don’t tell anyone here your real name, ever.”

“I thought you said it was safe.”

“It is safe, because there are a lot of rules. You’ll be housed with someone for a few days to help you settle in. I don’t know who’s doing that these days. It used to be my mother.”

He saw something moving in the darkness and moved away from the window. Briefly, he stopped in front of Dean, brushed his thumb across Dean’s cheekbone.

“I hope you find what you're looking for.”

And before Dean could process that touch and those words, he was halfway out the door. Needing a way to stop him, even if only for a second, Dean called out his name.

“Why can’t you stay?”

“I’ve been banished.”

“Why?”

A look of regret settled over his face. He ran his fingers through his hair and with one last look at Dean finally answered, before disappearing into the darkness.

“I killed a man.”


	12. Eden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter of the first part of the series. The story continues with part 2, next week.

The thought was foreign enough to stun him, for a moment. Castiel had killed a guy? But before he had time to process the information, some internal alarm bell went off, and he found himself repeating, in an increasingly louder tone, the only thought that mattered.

“No. No, no, no, no, NO!”

He ran for the door, every instinct in him yelling that this was it. This was wrong. That blind as he’d been to it at first, Castiel had made him feel safe enough to relax, for the first time in his life. He’d come to the rescue even after Dean had played him and run off. Nobody had ever had Dean’s back like this before. It was not until Castiel was suddenly on his way out of the picture that he understood. But when he reached the door, the lithe frame of an old woman was about to enter it, and it stopped him in his tracks. Over her head he could see the car disappearing into the darkness.

The old woman walked in, her eyes going directly to the window and then quickly glancing around the room. Her shoulders slumped when she didn’t find what she was looking for, and then she faced Dean. 

“How is he? Is he safe?”

And when Dean didn’t immediately answer, she insisted.

“Jimmy. How is he?”

She must have meant Castiel, Dean guessed. Nobody used their real name here, he’d said. 

“He’s well. He’s…” he hesitated, not sure what he should say. “He’s an extraordinary man.”

She nodded, satisfied. And it spoke to Dean that she didn’t ask any more questions. Instead, she began to explain to him that he would need to pick a new name, and that he would be staying with her for a few days while she briefed him on the other rules. She gave him hormone blockers and told him to take one now. They couldn’t enter the village until they had taken effect.

Dean didn’t want to enter the village at all now, but what else could he do? He had no idea where Cas had gone, and no way to go after him if he found out. And he needed time to think. Get his emotions under control, figure out what his options were, decide what he was going to do with the rest of his life. Cas had said this would be a good place for all that. So he took a deep breath and did what he hadn’t done since he first presented. He trusted. Cas knew this place. And he’d always come through for Dean. If this is where Cas thinks he should be right now, then this is where he’ll stay.

And besides, right here, this place, was the only connection to Cas he had left. He didn’t know where to find Cas, but as long as Cas knew where to find him, there was a chance that they’d find each other. Before he up and disappeared like morning fog, his father had taught him to wait when he was lost. To find a safe place close to where he was left and to wait until the old man came looking. John didn’t tell him what to do if he didn’t come looking. He supposed eventually, he’d have to plan for that. But not now. For now, he’d wait.

He couldn’t help shaking his head at the irony. He’d spent weeks planning to get away from Castiel. From the city. From the cloud that constantly hangs over the head of any omega in that world. And now here he was, in a world where everyone was a beta, so far removed from the ugliness he’d been living in that he had thought the place was made up. Away from Castiel and the city. Everything he’d wanted. And he wanted nothing more than to be in the passenger seat of the SUV, laughing with Castiel, on the way to wherever he was going right now. How had things gotten this out of control?

The old woman told him to call her Jane and asked for his name. He hesitated only for a second.

“Jimmy. I’m… I’m Jimmy.”

She sighed and continued.

“Well, Jimmy, there is only one more rule you need to know before we can enter the village. You are not to give any sign that you can smell anyone, ever. Here it is considered an unforgivable invasion of privacy. You will find this a difficult habit to break. It’s natural to you to monitor the scent of people you interact with for emotional content, and to act on what you scent. You can’t do that here. You will likely pick up on scents without thinking about it for a while. Don’t comment or otherwise acknowledge what you smell. Don’t ask someone if they’re ok if you smell distress. Don’t go offering chicken soup to a neighbor that smells ill. People are friendly and open enough here that they will volunteer information they don’t mind being known. If they’re not explicitly referencing it, then you’re not supposed to know. Respect that.”

Dean nodded, not really understanding what was wrong with bringing your neighbor chicken soup, but willing to comply.

“After a while, you won’t even notice the smells, if that helps. Most of the kids born here never learn to do that at all. And if they smell anything, they don’t know what it is. The first couple of weeks are the trickiest, but as long as you don’t actually say or do anything about it, people will be tolerant for a few days. Most of them have had to unlearn that habit themselves.”

She gestured at the bag, and started towards the door, waiting for him to follow. She led him through a gate and through mostly empty streets into a house near the far side of the fence. She hesitated a moment before turning into the small hallway, but finally went left, opened the door and they walked in.

“You can have Jimmy’s old room, for now. You should probably try to get some sleep.”

And she walked out, leaving him alone again. 

To wait where alpha left him.


End file.
